How quickly must a Jewish burial take place?

As soon as possible — ideally within 24 hours of death. Delay is permitted only when it honors the deceased, such as waiting for immediate family to travel, arranging proper tachrichim (תכריכים), or transporting the body to Israel.

What kind of casket is used in a Jewish funeral?

A plain, unfinished wooden aron (ארון) — usually soft pine, joined with wooden pegs and no metal, often with holes in the base so the body returns to the earth quickly. Jewish tradition rejects expensive, sealed or ornate caskets: the sages standardized simple burial so no family would be shamed by cost. In Israel there is generally no casket at all.

Can a Jew with tattoos be buried in a Jewish cemetery?

Yes. This is a widespread myth with no basis in Jewish law. Tattooing is prohibited, but having a tattoo never disqualifies a person from Jewish burial — Holocaust survivors with camp numbers are buried in Jewish cemeteries everywhere.

Why does Judaism prohibit cremation?

The body is considered sacred even after death and is returned to the earth intact: 'for dust you are and to dust you shall return' (כי עפר אתה ואל עפר תשוב). Cremation is viewed as destroying the body and is prohibited by traditional Jewish law, though Reform practice permits it.

What is the chevra kadisha?

The chevra kadisha (חברה קדישא, 'holy society') is the volunteer Jewish burial society that performs shemira, tahara, and dressing of the deceased. It is called chesed shel emet (חסד של אמת) — true kindness — because the deceased can never repay it.

Tahara (טהרה) is the ritual purification of the body before burial: washing, a continuous pouring of water or immersion in a mikveh, and dressing in plain white shrouds (תכריכים), all accompanied by verses and prayers.

Are men buried in a tallit?

Yes — a man is typically buried in his tallit (טלית) with one of the tzitzit rendered invalid, signifying that he is no longer obligated in mitzvot. Some communities also use a kittel (קיטל). Women are buried in the same simple white shrouds.

How long is shiva and how is it counted?

Seven days (שבעה), counting the day of burial as day one and ending on the morning of the seventh day after Shacharit. Shabbat counts but public mourning is suspended, and a major festival ends shiva early.

Should I bring flowers to a shiva house?

No. Flowers are not part of Jewish mourning. Bring kosher food, or give tzedakah (צדקה) in the deceased's memory — that is the traditional and appreciated gesture.

May I eat at a house of shiva?

Yes. Food is often set out for visitors; wash and recite brachot as usual. Feeding the mourners is a communal obligation, beginning with the seudat havra'ah (סעודת הבראה) — the meal of consolation prepared by others after the burial.

How often is Kaddish recited, and for how long?

Mourner's Kaddish (קדיש יתום) is recited three times daily — Shacharit, Mincha, and Maariv/Arvit — with a minyan. Children say it for eleven months for a parent; for a spouse, sibling, or child it is thirty days.

Where can I find a minyan to say Kaddish?

GoDaven.com lists minyan times worldwide, including airports and hotels. Our synagogue directory lists shuls by city and denomination. If you cannot attend, many synagogues and yeshivot will arrange for someone to say Kaddish on your behalf.

What happens at shloshim?

Shloshim (שלושים) is the thirtieth day from burial. Mourners resume most normal activity but avoid celebrations, live music, and haircuts. For all relatives except a parent, formal mourning ends at shloshim.

When is the headstone unveiled?

Any time after shloshim. In Israel the matzevah (מצבה) is usually set at thirty days; the common diaspora custom is around eleven to twelve months. There is no halachically required ceremony — Tehillim, El Maleh Rachamim, and brief remarks suffice.

What is a yahrzeit and how is it observed?

The Hebrew-date anniversary of a death (יארצייט). Light a 24-hour candle at nightfall, recite Kaddish at all three services, give tzedakah, learn mishnayot, and visit the grave if possible.

Why do people leave stones on Jewish graves?

Stones are permanent, unlike flowers, and signal that the deceased has been visited and remembered. The custom also recalls the ancient practice of marking graves with cairns.

How much does a Jewish funeral cost, and what if we can't afford it?

Costs vary widely by city and cemetery. Jewish burial is intentionally egalitarian — identical shrouds and plain wooden caskets — and free burial societies such as the Hebrew Free Burial Association, local chevra kadisha funds, and federations provide dignified burial at no cost. Always ask before taking on debt.

How do you fly a body to Israel for burial?

A Jewish funeral director coordinates the death certificate, transit permit, sealed airline container, and Israeli chevra kadisha reception. Burial in Israel is typically without a casket, in shrouds and tallit, and often takes place the same day the flight lands.

Is an autopsy allowed?

Traditional Jewish law opposes autopsy (ניתוח מת) as a desecration of the body, permitting it only where it may immediately save another life or where civil law compels it. A chevra kadisha or rabbi can often negotiate a limited or non-invasive examination.

What is the difference between Ashkenazi and Sephardic mourning customs?

The framework is identical. Sephardic communities emphasize seven days of limmud (לימוד — study) with hashkavah prayers in the home, often recite Kaddish in unison, observe meldado/nahala on the yahrzeit, and typically set the tombstone at thirty days.

Customs, Traditions & Rituals

Jewish Burial & Mourning

הלכות אבלות — קבורה, שבעה, קדיש ויארצייט

A complete, practical guide to what happens when a Jew dies — from hospice and the declaration of death through the chevra kadisha, tahara, burial, shiva, shloshim, eleven months of Kaddish, and the yahrzeit. Written for families who need answers in the next few hours, and for communities who want to show up correctly.

If a death has just occurred: call your local chevra kadisha (חברה קדישא) or a Jewish funeral home before making any other arrangement, and tell them you want a traditional Jewish burial — no embalming, no cremation, no viewing. They will handle the hospital, the paperwork, and the cemetery. This page is educational; a competent rabbi should be consulted for actual halachic decisions.

Who, What, When, Where, Why & How

Who

מי

Aveilim (אבלים — mourners) are the seven closest relatives: father, mother, son, daughter, brother, sister, and spouse. The chevra kadisha (חברה קדישא) prepares the body; the community feeds, comforts, and forms the minyan.

What

מה

A structured sequence — aninut (אנינות), tahara (טהרה), levaya (לוויה), kevurah (קבורה), shiva (שבעה), shloshim (שלושים), the year, and the yahrzeit (יארצייט) — governed by kvod ha-met (כבוד המת) and nichum aveilim (ניחום אבלים).

See the full order of events →

When

מתי

Burial as soon as possible, ideally within 24 hours; shiva for seven days from burial; shloshim to day thirty; twelve months for a parent, with Kaddish for eleven; yahrzeit annually by the Hebrew date.

Hebrew date & yahrzeit calculator →

Where

היכן

Death at home, hospice, or hospital; tahara at the chevra kadisha; the levaya at a funeral home, synagogue, or graveside; shiva at the home of the deceased or a mourner; Kaddish wherever there is a minyan (מניין).

Synagogues & Shuls Directory →

Why

למה

Judaism refuses to leave either the dead or the living alone. Fixed obligations replace improvisation at the worst moment of a family's life, and the timeline gently loosens grief's grip in stages rather than all at once.

How

איך

Call the chevra kadisha first; decline embalming, cremation and viewing; let the community cook, drive, and gather the minyan; and consult a rabbi for any question that arises — most decisions here have hours, not days.

Costs & free burial societies →

The Order of Events — What Happens and When

1
Hospice / final hours
Before death — vidui and presence
וידוי
Judaism encourages the dying person (or someone on their behalf) to recite vidui (וידוי — final confession) and the Shema (שמע ישראל). Family and friends stay present; a goses (גוסס — a person in their final hours) is never to be moved unnecessarily or left alone. Hospice chaplains, a rabbi, or a bikur cholim (ביקור חולים — visiting the sick) volunteer can guide the family. Hastening death is forbidden, but there is no obligation to prolong suffering artificially — these decisions should be made with a competent rabbi in real time, not afterward.
Prayer & Tefillin guide →Sefaria — Shulchan Aruch, Yoreh De'ah →
2
At the moment of death
Declaration, Baruch Dayan HaEmet, kriah
ברוך דיין האמת · קריעה
At a hospital, a physician declares death; at home, hospice or emergency services do. Those present recite Baruch Dayan HaEmet (ברוך דיין האמת — "Blessed is the True Judge"). Immediate relatives perform kriah (קריעה) — tearing a garment (or a ribbon) — traditionally at the funeral for Ashkenazim, and in many Sephardic communities as well. Eyes are closed, the body is covered, and a candle (נר נשמה) is lit near the deceased.
3
Within hours
Call the chevra kadisha and a funeral home
חברה קדישא
Before anything else, contact the local chevra kadisha (חברה קדישא — Jewish burial society) or a Jewish funeral home. They coordinate with the hospital, medical examiner, and cemetery (בית עלמין). Ask explicitly for a traditional Jewish burial — no embalming, no cremation, no autopsy (ניתוח מת) unless legally mandated (and ask the chevra kadisha to advocate against or minimize it).
NASCK — National Association of Chevra Kadisha →Kavod v'Nichum — end-of-life network →
4
Until burial
Shemira — watching over the body
שמירה
The met (מת — deceased) is never left alone. Shomrim (שומרים — watchers) sit with the body around the clock reciting Tehillim (תהילים — Psalms). This is an act of kavod ha-met (כבוד המת — honor for the deceased), and is arranged by the chevra kadisha or volunteers from the community.
Tehillim on Sefaria →
5
Before the funeral
Tahara — ritual purification
טהרה
In the tahara room (חדר טהרה), the chevra kadisha washes the body, then pours a continuous flow of water (or immerses in a mikveh — מקווה) while reciting verses from Shir HaShirim (שיר השירים) and Yechezkel (יחזקאל). The body is dressed in tachrichim (תכריכים) — plain white hand-sewn linen shrouds identical for rich and poor. Men are usually wrapped in their tallit (טלית) with one tzitzit (ציצית) rendered invalid; in Israel and many Sephardic communities burial is directly in the shrouds and tallit without a casket. A kittel (קיטל) is used in some communities.
Mikveh Directory →
6
Ideally within 24 hours
Levaya — the funeral
לוויה
Kevurah (קבורה — burial) happens as soon as possible; delay is permitted only for honor of the deceased — travel of close relatives, arranging tachrichim, or transport to Israel. The levaya (לוויה — literally 'accompanying') includes Tehillim (especially Psalm 23, מזמור לדוד, and Psalm 91, יושב בסתר), a hesped (הספד — eulogy), and El Maleh Rachamim (אל מלא רחמים). Mourners and the community escort the casket; it is a mitzvah to walk with it and to help fill the grave with earth.
Find a synagogue for the service →
7
At the graveside
Kevurah, Kaddish, and the line of comfort
קבורה · קדיש יתום
The Jewish casket (ארון) is deliberately, strikingly simple. Tradition calls for an aron of plain, unfinished soft wood — often pine — built with wooden pegs and no metal, sometimes with holes bored in the base, precisely so that it disintegrates quickly and the body returns to the earth: "for dust you are and to dust you shall return" (כי עפר אתה ואל עפר תשוב). Jews do not use fancy, sealed or expensive caskets; ostentation at a funeral was banned by the sages so that no family would be shamed by what it could not afford, and in Israel there is usually no casket at all — burial is directly in the earth in shrouds and tallit. The aron is lowered and those present take turns placing earth in the grave — traditionally using the back of the shovel first, and not passing the shovel hand to hand. Mourners then recite Kaddish Yatom (קדיש יתום — the Mourner's Kaddish) for the first time. The community forms two lines through which the mourners walk while being told: HaMakom yenachem etchem b'toch she'ar aveilei Tzion v'Yerushalayim (המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים). Hands are washed (נטילת ידיים) on leaving the cemetery.
Costs & free burial societies →Kaddish & finding a minyan →
8
Returning home
Seudat havra'ah — the meal of consolation
סעודת הבראה
Neighbors and friends — never the mourners themselves — prepare the first meal after burial: traditionally bread, hard-boiled eggs (ביצים), and lentils (עדשים), round foods symbolizing the cycle of life. Shiva (שבעה) then begins.
Kosher recipes for a shiva house →

Burial vs. Cremation, Caskets, Costs & Transport

Burial vs. cremation

קבורה מול שריפה

Traditional Jewish law requires burial in the earth — "for dust you are and to dust you shall return" (כי עפר אתה ואל עפר תשוב) — and prohibits cremation, which is seen as destroying a body that remains sacred and that belongs to God. Reform practice permits cremation; Orthodox and Conservative movements do not. Where cremation has already occurred, most authorities permit burying the remains and mourning normally, and a rabbi should be consulted.

The simple wooden casket

ארון פשוט

The aron (ארון) is intentionally plain: unfinished soft wood such as pine, joined with wooden pegs rather than metal, frequently with holes bored in the base so the body returns to the earth as quickly as possible. Fancy, lined, sealed or expensive caskets run against the entire logic of Jewish burial. The Talmud records that ostentatious funerals were abolished so the poor would not be shamed — everyone is buried in the same white shrouds and the same simple box. In Israel there is generally no casket at all.

Tattoos: dispelling the myth

כתובת קעקע

It is simply not true that a person with tattoos cannot be buried in a Jewish cemetery. There is no such halacha anywhere. Tattooing is prohibited by Leviticus 19:28 (ויקרא י"ט:כ"ח), but the prohibition attaches to the act, not to a permanent loss of burial rights. Holocaust survivors with camp numbers are buried in Jewish cemeteries the world over. Anyone told otherwise has been misinformed.

Yom HaShoah →

Graveside vs. chapel funerals

לוויה בבית העלמין

A graveside (kevurah — קבורה) service at the cemetery is simple, fast, and increasingly common. A chapel service at a funeral home or synagogue allows a larger gathering and more eulogies (הספדים), followed by a procession to the cemetery. Both are fully traditional; the choice is practical.

Find a synagogue →

Costs and the free burial societies

עלויות וחסד של אמת

Jewish funerals are meant to be egalitarian — identical shrouds, plain wood caskets — precisely so that no family is shamed by cost. If a family cannot pay, the Hebrew Free Burial Association (New York), local chevra kadisha funds, federations, and synagogue burial societies provide dignified burial at no charge. Ask; do not go into debt. Many communities also sell cemetery plots in advance at community rates.

Hebrew Free Burial Association →NASCK →

Transporting a body between cities and countries

העברת הנפטר

International or interstate transport requires a death certificate, a burial-transit permit, consular paperwork, an airline-approved sealed container, and coordination between the funeral home at origin and the chevra kadisha at destination. Jewish funeral directors handle this routinely. Because embalming is normally avoided, refrigeration and speed matter — decisions should be made within hours, not days.

Kavod v'Nichum →

Burial in Israel

קבורה בארץ ישראל

Many Jews arrange burial in Israel — on Har HaZeitim (הר הזיתים — the Mount of Olives), Har HaMenuchot (הר המנוחות) in Jerusalem, or a local moshav or city cemetery. Israeli chevra kadisha organizations, the Jerusalem burial societies, and specialized funeral homes handle flights, reception at Ben Gurion, and immediate burial, often the same day the flight lands. In Israel burial is generally without a casket, directly in the earth in shrouds and tallit. Confirm plot ownership, cost, and whether a levaya will be held in the diaspora before the flight.

Israel & Aliyah resources →

Shiva — The Seven Days (שבעה)

Seven days

שבעה

Shiva (שבעה) runs seven days counting the day of burial as day one. Shabbat (שבת) counts toward the seven but public mourning is suspended; a major festival (רגל) cancels the remainder of shiva entirely.

Shabbat observance →Jewish Calendar →

Low chairs & mirrors

כסא נמוך

Mourners sit on low stools or cushions. Mirrors are covered — to remove vanity and self-focus from a house given over to grief.

What mourners refrain from

דיני אבלות

Work, bathing for pleasure, leather shoes, cosmetics, haircuts and shaving, marital relations, greeting people with shalom (שלום), and ordinary Torah study — mourners may study Iyov (איוב — Job), Eicha (איכה — Lamentations), and the laws of mourning (הלכות אבלות).

Eicha & Tisha B'Av →

A memorial candle

נר נשמה

A seven-day ner neshama (נר נשמה) burns continuously in the shiva house, symbolizing the soul: "The candle of God is the soul of man" — נר ה' נשמת אדם (Proverbs 20:27).

Prayer at home

מניין בבית האבל

A minyan (מניין) gathers in the shiva house for Shacharit (שחרית), Mincha (מנחה) and Maariv/Arvit (מעריב/ערבית) so mourners can say Kaddish. A Sefer Torah (ספר תורה) is sometimes brought in for weekday readings.

GoDaven minyan directory →Synagogues & Shuls Directory →

Getting up

קימה מן השבעה

On the morning of the seventh day, after Shacharit, visitors tell the mourners to rise. Mourners then walk together outside — traditionally around the block — symbolizing re-entry into the world.

Visiting a Shiva House — Nichum Aveilim (ניחום אבלים)

Do bring food

הבאת מזון

Bring prepared meals, baked goods, fruit platters, or paper goods — with a reliable hechsher (הכשר), and check whether the home is meat (בשרי) or dairy (חלבי) for that meal. Feeding the mourners is a communal obligation.

Kosher certification symbols →Kosher grocery stores →

Do not bring flowers

ללא פרחים

Flowers are not a Jewish mourning custom. Give tzedakah (צדקה) in the deceased's memory instead; many families designate a charity.

Jewish non-profits →

Let the mourner speak first

ניחום אבלים

Sit quietly. Silence is not awkward — it is the halacha (הלכה). Follow the mourner's lead in conversation, and speak about the person who died.

What to say when leaving

המקום ינחם אתכם

HaMakom yenachem etchem b'toch she'ar aveilei Tzion v'Yerushalayim (המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים) — 'May God comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.' Sephardim commonly say Min HaShamayim tenuchamu (מן השמים תנוחמו), and in Israel simply Shetizku l'simchot (שתזכו לשמחות).

Eating in the shiva house

ברכות בבית האבל

Wash (נטילת ידיים) and make brachot (ברכות) as usual; Birkat HaMazon (ברכת המזון) in a house of mourning substitutes a special paragraph in some communities when a minyan of mourners is present. Many families set out food specifically so visitors can eat — accepting it is a kindness.

Customs, traditions & rituals →

Don't ring the bell

כניסה בשקט

The door is typically left unlocked. Enter quietly; no greetings, no small talk at the door.

Kaddish & Finding a Minyan (קדיש ומניין)

Three times a day

שלוש תפילות

Kaddish Yatom (קדיש יתום) is recited at Shacharit (שחרית), Mincha (מנחה) and Maariv/Arvit (מעריב/ערבית) — every day, requiring a minyan (מניין) of ten adult Jewish men (or ten adults in egalitarian communities).

Zmanim — halachic prayer times →

Eleven months for a parent

אחד עשר חודש

Although judgment of a soul is described as twelve months, children recite Kaddish for eleven months only, so as not to imply the parent needed the full term. For a spouse, sibling or child, Kaddish is said for thirty days (שלושים).

It never mentions death

יתגדל ויתקדש שמיה רבא

Kaddish is an Aramaic doxology magnifying God's name — Yitgadal v'yitkadash shmei rabba (יתגדל ויתקדש שמיה רבא). The mourner publicly affirms faith precisely when it is hardest — that is its power.

Text of Kaddish on Sefaria →

Finding a minyan

מציאת מניין

Use GoDaven.com, the worldwide minyan directory, or our synagogue directory to find davening times anywhere in the world, including airport and hotel minyanim while traveling.

GoDaven.com →Synagogues & Shuls Directory →

If you cannot say it

אמירת קדיש בשליחות

Many synagogues, yeshivot and organizations will arrange for someone to recite Kaddish on behalf of a family member, usually paired with learning mishnayot (משניות) in the deceased's memory.

Jewish learning & Torah studies →

Yahrzeit Kaddish

קדיש ביום היארצייט

On each yahrzeit (יארצייט) the mourner recites Kaddish at all three services, and traditionally leads the service (שליח ציבור), receives an aliyah (עלייה לתורה) on the preceding Shabbat, and learns mishnayot.

Weekly Torah portion →

GoDaven.com — worldwide minyan directory →Synagogues & Shuls Directory →Prayer & Tefillin guide →

Shloshim, the Year, Yahrzeit & Visiting Graves

Shloshim — thirty days

שלושים

From burial through day thirty. Mourners return to work but avoid parties, live music, and haircuts. For a spouse, sibling, or child, formal mourning ends at shloshim (שלושים).

Twelve months for a parent

שנים עשר חודש

Children observe restrictions on celebrations (שמחות) and music for a full twelve Hebrew months, while Kaddish is recited for eleven.

Matzevah — the headstone

מצבה

The matzevah (מצבה) is unveiled any time after shloshim; the common American custom is around the eleven-or-twelve-month mark, while in Israel it is usually set at thirty days. There is no required 'unveiling ceremony' in halacha — Tehillim, El Maleh Rachamim (אל מלא רחמים), and brief words are the norm.

Visiting the grave

ביקור בקבר

Customary before Rosh Hashanah (ראש השנה) and Yom Kippur (יום כיפור), on a yahrzeit, and at times of need. Place a small stone on the marker rather than flowers, recite Tehillim (chapters spelling the deceased's name, plus Psalm 119 verses), and give tzedakah. Many avoid grave visits on Shabbat, festivals, and Rosh Chodesh (ראש חודש).

Rosh Hashanah →Yom Kippur →

Yahrzeit

יארצייט

The Hebrew-date anniversary of the death: light a 24-hour ner neshama (נר נשמה) at nightfall, recite Kaddish, give tzedakah, learn mishnayot, and where possible lead services.

Hebcal yahrzeit calculator →Jewish Calendar 5787 →

Yizkor

יזכור

Recited four times a year — Yom Kippur, Shemini Atzeret (שמיני עצרת), the last day of Pesach (פסח), and the second day of Shavuot (שבועות) — with pledges of tzedakah in the memory of the departed.

Shemini Atzeret & Simchat Torah →Jewish Holidays →

Ashkenazi, Sephardic & Israeli Customs

Ashkenazi customs

מנהגי אשכנז

Kriah (קריעה) on a garment or ribbon at the funeral; burial in a plain wooden casket in the diaspora; the seventh day 'getting up' walk; unveiling of the matzevah near the twelve-month mark; Kaddish for eleven months.

Sephardic & Mizrachi customs

מנהגי ספרד ועדות המזרח

Seven days of study in the home (לימוד) with hashkavah (השכבה) prayers rather than only condolence visiting; readings from Mishnah (משנה) and Zohar (זוהר); meldado / nahala (נחלה) for the yahrzeit; in many communities Kaddish is recited by all mourners in unison; the tombstone is often set at thirty days.

In Israel

בארץ ישראל

Burial usually within hours, without a casket, and often at night; announcements posted on neighborhood walls (פשקווילים); the shiva house is publicly listed with davening times; visitors come continuously.